My first clay portrait
It took me almost one year to complete Willy's portrait.
I started during an 8-weeks workshop in Detroit, but quite predictably I was not able to finish the project in time. Most workshop participants had significantly more experience, and/or worked in the field. I was already behind when we started building the armature.
This is Willy:
And this is my sketch at the end of the first session:
I had expected some amount of formal instruction, but the workshop was mostly supposed to provide an opportunity to work with a live model, with some peer support.
However, for the first few weeks I felt cautiously optimistic.
One of the instructors gave shape to the eyes...
But the structure was soon lost as I kept adding volume. I didn't understand how all the planes related to each other, nor did I have shorthands for judging proportions and dimensions.
The format of the workshop became soon really challenging for me. Every 20 minutes or so, the model was spun on his turning platform. This meant that we had only approximately 20 minutes to work on any given angle of our portrait. For my untrained eyes and hands, that time was way too short.
The attending instructors were willing to answer questions and help out as much as they could, but they were also trying to make some progress on their own projects. Besides, my gaps were more than simple "gaps". I consider myself a fast learner, but some answers seemed to make everything more complicated, rather than simpler.
Discomfort crept in. I felt like I had felt at times during my math and physics tests, in elementary (and maybe even middle school). I was determined to "get it", but I would invariably make some mistake along the way, or miss a step, and then I was lost. The stress of falling behind while the clock was ticking made it impossible to catch up again.
As an adult, I manage my internal pressure cooker slightly better, but that involves some amount of avoidance. I started asking fewer questions, and feeling isolated... though I am sure no one meant to make me feel that way.
By week 7, I had deviated pretty significantly from the model, and I was frustrated enough that I considered tossing everything in the trash (or not going back, and let them toss it in the trash).
But instead, I decided to take my work home, after the workshop wrapped up. One of the instructors helped me carry it down the stairs and load it in the car. That thing was heavy!!!
I wondered what the police would have thought if they saw what looked like a human head wrapped up in plastic on my passenger seat.
At home, I was able to pull out all my books (unused since I bought them) and move at my own pace. Whenever I felt stuck or frustrated, I would pause until the next day. Then, I would invariably see the way out - what was off, and how to fix it.
I often had to set timers to avoid missing dinner, or spending the entire night on it.
I managed to give the nose a better shape, but the proportions were off. The real Willy's nose was shorter, and sat higher on his face. My Willy also looked more Asian than African-American.
Since I wasn’t sure I’d be able to make a decent nose again, I decided to try chopping off a section and moving the bottom part up, as one of my books recommended.
I was afraid to lose the progress made, but after a couple of attempts, it turned out quite alright... although he didn't look quite like Willy yet.
I spent a lot of time trying to figure out WHAT exactly was different by comparing the pictures to my work, and subsequently trying to figure out HOW to fix it. I ended up adding volume at the temples and at the jaw, and ensuring that the two cheeks were roughly at the same level.
Most instructional books described a technique (or hack) to shape the mouth that - in itself- sounded simple enough. But once I tried to apply it to the larger context of the planes around the mouth, it turned out not to be easy at all. I had to restart from scratch a couple of times - and below that’s what the portrait looked like when I did.
When I got to this point, I became hopeful... If I managed not to fuck it all up when doing the eyes, I could finish with an honorable mention.
I spent some time adjusting the profiles, but I could not get them to match exactly. The clay was getting drier, making major adjustments more difficult.
And so, he got his eyes.
The portrait sat wrapped up in my basement for the next month, as I embarked on a two-week work trip to Europe, followed by a week in Canada. Fortunately, the clay remained sufficiently moist.
The last hurdle was to remove the armature. The pipe had pierced the clay at the top of the head, so the armature wouldn't "simply slide out" like one of the instructors had mentioned. I had to cut the head and even remove a piece of the skull.
My way of rejoining the two sides was rather crude. I'm sure there are better ways, but I'm a bit lazy, at times, and my brain (almost) always tries to take the shortcut.
Was the workshop useful? Most definitely. Maybe I didn't learn all the things, but I learned a lot of things.
Should I have started with a smaller project, maybe a detail? Probably. That applies to most things I do.
But the portrait now sits in front of my window, and somehow, when I look at it, I don't see its many flaws.
(By the way, I almost forgot to give him ears!)